The Begining

   Since I have no idea where to start, let's just jump in head first, shall we? So, I have had problems with my weight as long as I can remember. Even back in elementary school, I remember being teased for being chubby. Looking back now, I would LOVE to be the size I hated when I was 13. Hindsight... 

   Anyway. I am now 29 and the mother of  amazing, beautiful children, and the wife of a loving, crazy man. Life is good. Sadly, I am also the heaviest I have ever been. Which boggles my mind because I did really good all three times watching how much I gained, and I breast fed my oldest two for over a year, and am still going with my youngest. I'm not sure what happened there...

   On the topic of the crazy love of my life, he is skinny. Like, always was the shrimp growing up, didn't weight 100lbs when he hit high school skinny. Not great for the self esteem. Obviously, he loves me as I am, but he has no idea what it's like to struggle with being overweight. Or how mind blowingly hard it can be to try to lose the extra weight. But I have decided, this is it. I am changing myself. I want to know for the first time in my life what it's like to be happy with myself. To be comfortable in my own skin.I don't just want to get thinner, I want to get healthier. I want my kids to grow up eating well and making good choices so they never have to go through what I have. 

   I am starting this blog as a journal. I am hoping it will help keep me accountable. I will do my best to be completely open and honest. I've looked at quite a few things, and I ideally need to lose 70-90 pounds. Yikes! I have a little over 9 months until my 30th birthday, and I am hoping to be in the best shape of my life my then. I won't beat myself up too bad if I'm not to my goal weight yet, but I wan to be significantly closer! If you want to follow along, yay for support. Maybe I will even be lucky enough to inspire someone. My goal is to post every night after the kiddos are in bed. Tomorrow I hope to be feeling better so I can try to start getting a workout in at least 5 days a week. I know I'm out of shape, so we will see how it goes. But I won't be deterred. 

   I took a shower tonight and got ready to use a body wrap. Not because I think it's magically going to make me skinny, but just hoping to jump start my journey. Anyway, I wanted to see if it worked, so I measured myself before applying it. And it almost made me curl up in a ball and cry. That was the breaking point. At that moment, I decided I needed to change. I am praying for help, and God willing, I will change for the better. This has gotten long, so I'm signing off for the night.  Here's to a great start tomorrow.